He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
