I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
