i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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