How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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