Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
