I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
