im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
