16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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