is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
