do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
