I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
