Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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