Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
