I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
