You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
