Whod you bang
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
