And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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