well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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