So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
