Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
