the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
