You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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