Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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