Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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