whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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