this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
this is an emotional support booty call
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
