I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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