yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
