how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
