We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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