My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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