I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
