He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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