Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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