just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
