I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Duck Duck Cougar?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
