Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
In America we eat man semen.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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