Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
