I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
