I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
