So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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