Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
