I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
