Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
