I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
