i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
