What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
