im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
