oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize