It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
