i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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