You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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