i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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