I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
